Top 10 so bad they're good, food jokes!

What idiot called it "alphabetti spaghetti" instead of "times new ramen"?

Why do they only have one egg for breakfast in France?  Because in France, one egg is an oeuf!

Two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the other and says  "does this taste funny to you?"

Salmon Ramen

I don't mean ramen as in those packs of instant cup noodles or the packets so many students live on, this is an attempt to make lovely ramen soup at home but with delicious and healthy salmon.

In a moment of inspiration I bought a jar of miso paste a few months back, then forgot about it.  I have no idea why because it really adds depth to a soup, it's definitely going back on my shopping list again.

I've used ramen noodles here (as in the dried proper ramen noodle not the pack with the sachet of MSG filled flavouring) but if you can't get them, try egg noodles.  Not quite the same but close enough.

Lamb wrap

Now I'm thinking about Wham Rap.  Showing my age.  Anyway, more of that later... this was out of a craving for lovely browned meat with delicious, garlicky home made tzatziki.

Chocolate Two Tone Cupcakes

Of course, chocolate cupcakes are really easy to make but there is something cool about making them look a little bit more exciting with two tone icing.

I chose to decorate mine with a combination of chocolate and vanilla icing.  I hate the way that "vanilla" has become a byword for boring.  Proper vanilla extract is the most heady, delicious flavour and if paired with an intense chocolate icing, the two set each other off beautifully.

Alternatively a really good combination would be orange and chocolate or coffee and chocolate... yummy!

Vietnamese Summer Rolls

Summer rolls are funny, healthy, lovely things.  A spring roll may seem like a fatty, unhealthy thing but these Vietnamese style vegan summer rolls are almost embarrassingly healthy.

What makes them for me is that mix of textures from the crunchy peanuts and vegetables, the softer noodles still with bite and the sticky sauce.

All about umami

You might have heard about salt, sugar, bitter and sweet as the four tastes when you were at school, in fact there are five and the fifth is "umami".  Umami means delicious taste in Japanese but is generally translated as "savoury". 

Sticky soy dressing

You might not think that "savoury" is a distinct taste and it is difficult to explain to people, especially when testing peoples capabilities to taste for it.  

The ultimate fruit filled breakfast

I love filling up with fruit at breakfast, it's a fantastic burst of energy when I'm feeling a bit sluggish.  This is my latest idea and it went down pretty well.

Here's what's great about this breakfast; bags of vitamin C, lycopene, vitamin K, manganese, some folate, fibre and the pumpkin seeds also bag a reasonable amount of iron along with lots of other lovely nutrients.

4 of your 5 a day and you've not even got dressed yet!

Tandoori Salmon

Salmon is such a fantastically versatile fish; with a flavour strong enough to stand up to robust spicing but with a delicacy as well.

There's nothing traditional about this but it's a great way to give a salmon fillet a different feel and it is genuinely very tasty.

Sticky Salmon Rice Bowl

Salmon, beautifully cooked with a delicious sticky dressing.  Healthy food at it's best.

I used to avoid a lot of carbs but I'm learning to love them again as the great thing about carbs, especially low GI carbs like brown rice is they really fill you up and it tastes so much better than white rice.  I have no idea why I ate boring white rice for so long!

Salmon with Green Beans and Potato Salad

I love salmon and it's a great way to get some omega 3 in your diet.

This simple salad is easy to make fresh with warm salmon, potatoes and beans or great to make for a packed lunch by cooling the ingredients or from leftover cooked salmon and vegetables.

Spicy Chopped Salad

This was inspired by the flavours of Mexico.  If you can get it, queso blanco would be lovely to include in this salad.  It's difficult to find in the UK so I've used deliciously salty feta.

Although this salad doesn't have a dressing, there is a lovely sweetness which comes out of the peppers and corn and the spice coming from the pickled jalapenos, surprisingly a dressing isn't needed.

This salad is easily made into a vegan joy by substituting the cheese for cubed, fresh avocado.

Hake with Chorizo

I bought some delicious hake from my local supermarket recently.  Hake is not a fish we eat a lot of in the UK but the fillet looked in beautiful condition and I had some chorizo in the fridge.  Hake is one of the most loved fishes in Spain and I can see why with it's firm, flaky flesh.

This is a very simple recipe made after a long hard day at work.

My favourite exercise tunes

I wouldn't describe myself as an exercise nut but in the last 3.5 years, exercise has formed part of my life again when I can't honestly say I'd more than dabbled with it since school years.

I hope things have changed but never being a sporty child at school, the PE teachers were largely disinterested in motivating me to enjoy sport because I was never going to be the best person at it.  Imagine if a maths teacher took the same attitude?  What happened to teaching life skills?

How hard I tried at whatever torture they were trying to put me through (hockey in January for example), it was never good enough because I wasn't one of the naturally talented girls.  Looking back now, it makes me so angry.  Exercise is vital for everyone, not just people who may run for the county some day.  It helps prevent obesity, it is important for cardio vascular health and it is fantastic at improving your mental well-being.  I firmly believe exercise is one of the most important habits to get kids into, however, many of us (me included) missed out.